To Those That Have Stopped Listening,
At what point did you lose your sense of reality? Was it when you made just enough money to finally upsize your house or build another one?
Or was it long before that… perhaps when you set your eyes on the prize and nothing was going to get in your way?
Is it when your car was worth as much as a small home, or when you were able to golf on the weekends and rub elbows with other men who make the same amount as you, or most likely more? Talking about your successful career, kids, and house on the hill, filling your ego with a false sense of self.
Was it before or after you decided that money and success equaled making it in this world?
Is it when you finally broke through to that next tax bracket? Is that when you decided you can now officially afford to turn your cheek to others who need help, here and across the world?
With great wealth comes great responsibility…. Or so I would like to believe.
But that’s just it—perhaps wealth and success in the corporate world make you feel like you are no longer responsible for giving grace or attempting to understand the drastic inequality we face?
I beg you to reply. I am desperate to understand where you are coming from.
Is it because you truly feel like you worked your ass off… why can’t everyone else? Or at least stay out of your way and stop trying to take your money?
The old “pick yourself up by your bootstraps”… isn’t that what they say?
When did it become normal in your heart to believe that the gated community you live in means you don’t have to help address the very real mental health and substance abuse issues we have in this country? The housing inequality and scarcity of wealth that can’t be distributed if it’s all at the top? That would be a hard one to balance, wouldn’t it. If you had to take some of what you have, and distribute it to the rest of us.
How do you justify it in your mind and resolve yourself to believe that someone who makes mistakes because of very real mental health issues and substance abuse no longer deserves your time or resources or belief or love or empathy? It’s easier to believe you earned it so what right is it of ours to try to take it away.
Look, I want to give you some grace. I do know how hard it is to be empathetic; it takes over my whole being at times. It’s not easy to sit in pain, but I get it—not everyone can have this strength and still have the energy to kick ass at work and navigate the complexities of every day life.
How does it feel in your heart to see the color of someone else’s skin or hear a language that isn’t English and hope they’re “sent back to where they came from”? While you bring your children to private school, how does it feel that many children won’t get free lunch today or that thousands of others will not get the health care that they need because you don’t want to pay enough taxes to help make this possible?
I may not need to remind you, but I will just in case: that job title you have and the money in your bank, aren’t going with you when you leave this earth.
What I have witnessed is that success can be beautiful, but often it fosters a childish and emotionally withdrawn version of people who convince themselves that they no longer need to attempt to understand things like mental health, poverty, substance abuse or hunger across the globe.
Which, let’s face it, isn’t that easier?
Avoiding emotions is easier than giving grace or allowing yourself to be vulnerable by showing up for someone else when they need you. You have the money, you have resources… it likely feels pretty damn good in your bubble. Isn’t it easier to hold grudges instead of giving grace?
Is it easier to believe that others have the same options as you do? Why should you have to take on their pain when you’ve worked so hard?
I get it, it’s easier to say, “I have no experience with anyone in my life doing drugs or having a mental health illness or falling down hard; they make their own choices”, than it is to face that this country stacks everything against anyone who just may not have the same opportunities you did because of things like trauma or race or poverty or mental health… or just maybe plain old resiliency or coping mechanisms that not everyone has.
And let’s be clear, justify that with all the reasons you may have, but none of it is true, and I believe you know it. It is fear and greed that drive those decisions, not love or empathy.
Much of the hate and hurt in this world are because people look away, and yes, that includes people like you.
I leave you with this. We are resilient, we see clearly what is happening. We will continue to work hard for what is right. We will go to work every day on the same damn hamster wheel, while also giving to those that need it.
Because you can do both.
We will sit in uncomfortable emotions when others are hurting, even if they hurt us, because we understand what it is like to be in pain and everyone deserves a chance. We will fight for a humanity that is not focused on money, but instead love.
Always.
Lastly, let’s also be clear, when we go, we will take every ounce of love and empathy we give and receive on this earth with us. That is all that is real and infinite in this crazy, beautiful existence.
Yours in pain,
Melissa
Perpetual Emergence 